I just had an epiphany today. Being a good parent doesn’t mean that you spend all of your time making your child happy. A happy child doesn’t equal, good parenting.
I was in my car trying to go to the store to get some baby food. I was really last minute about the whole thing because it was lunch time and I had no more in the house. I got all of the stuff that I would need for my trip, the stroller, diapers in case of a blowout, you know the deal. Last, I picked up my baby and headed to the car. Well when I tried to strap my baby into the car seat, he wouldn’t get in. He stood up in the seat, flipped his whole body around and started thrashing. He screamed, he yelled and he cried, he did not want to get into that seat. But he had to, he needed food, and he had to get in his car seat to get that food. It was for his safety. I wasn’t going to just say, ‘ok, he’s mad, lets just forget the car seat, I’ll drive to the store with him on my lap.’ How crazy does that sound?
But this is when it hit me, I’ve spent the first months of my baby’s life, trying to make him happy. I wanted to pacify him and make sure that he had everything his heart desired. I wanted him to feel loved and cared for; nurtured. And he was a baby, that’s exactly what I should have been doing. But I’m not going to be raising a baby forever, I’m transitioning into raising a toddler, then child and ultimately a man. Every decision that I make for him isn’t going to make him happy. But that isn’t my job. Well at least not my primary one.
Let me explain, my job is to make sure he’s safe, make sure he knows he’s loved, make sure that he grows into a respectable, kind young man. That’s my goal. If something makes him happy, but doesn’t support my primary goal, he’s just going to be unhappy. Now if something supports both goals, then yay me! But the reality is, the stars won’t always align that way.
This was an eye opener for me. I’m transitioning my parenting style, and my son may not like it, but I know it’s what he needs. I have to trust that I know better than a one year old, and I have to realize, I’ve been entrusted with a gift, and I need to do right by him. I have to raise this awesome young man so that he can know what’s important in life, and ultimately be happy in his later life. That’s my purpose and I’m up for the challenge. Sometimes it’s going to make me feel like the worst mom in the world, and that’s ok too, because really, it’s not about me, it’s about him. I just have to keep that end goal in mind, and know that my intentions are pure. A few moments of unhappiness now, may set him up for a lifetime of happiness later.
Do you have a story to share? A time you knew you were doing the right thing by your kids, but in that moment, it didn’t feel so great? Share with me below!
Have a great day. Make life sweet, and learn all that you can.
