Yesterday was my due date. Well, two years ago it was. I thought I’d deliver early, because everyone kept telling me how huge I was (side-note, that never makes a woman feel that great), but that didn’t happen. Then on the 10th, I walked around doing everything I possibly could to get the baby out of me, but none of it worked. I wanted to post this article today not because I’m still dwelling on the past. But because December 10th 2017 was the day that I fully realized how little control of my life I really had. And I hated it.
Obviously, before I’d run into situations where things hadn’t gone according to my plan. But in that moment, when I had another living being growing inside of my body, and I didn’t even have the power to give him his eviction papers, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I literally didn’t have control of my own body.
So what do you do? In those moments when you want to control, but realize that life is unpredictable? When you feel like you know what needs to happen, but you can’t make it so? What do you do?
And you let go.
It’s amazing the relief that comes when you accept the fact that you have no control. If I’m being honest, I haven’t fully accepted this yet. But there are small moments, when I do, and it just feels like I’ve been liberated. I still don’t know what the outcome of my situation will be, and chances are I won’t like it. But, I have no control, so I let it go.
Just a caveat here. This doesn’t mean that you never have control. Don’t just pray for a job and let it go. Go to the interviews, work on your resume, do something man! There are things that we can do. My point is, when we’ve done everything that we can and we have nothing left to give, THEN you pray and let go.
Now I just have to learn to take my own advice.
Anyone else working on this issue? Just me? Let me know in the comments below!
Make life sweet and learn all you can.